WORTHLESSNESS — “Do you want to die?” I asked Talyaa Liera my soulmate, shortly after doctors gave her months to live with a stage 4 cancer diagnosis. I realized I was working way harder at healing my beloved than she was.
I told her that even though my agenda was for her to live, I would ONLY support HER agenda, which on her present course was to die.
So I demanded from my life partner to choose her agenda. I explained that if she chose to die, I would help her go out with style, be at her side loving her til her last breath as I held her hand.
I came to know I cannot help anyone who does not help themselves. Upon that knowing, almost a decade ago, I allowed my therapy clients to only schedule their next session after they completed their homework – effectively firing those who did not actively participate in their own growth.
So ended my psychotherapy practice.
I had grown resentful of clients that expected me to work harder than they did for their healing. And for the past ten years I have felt worthless in my ability to truly help others heal, grow and transform.
Though I have learned so much around healing, growth and transformation and can show and facilitate others how to swiftly and effectively obtain dramatic results, I have come to understand I can lead a horse to water but I can’t make the horse drink. I go further by saying I really can’t even help the horse know that water exists – that they can change or transform.
I believe most people unconsciously play victim roles. They don’t see, believe, imagine, or understand that they can change, because underlying the victim role in their psyche is a belief of worthlessness.
Talyaa played victim (believing she was worthless) until I stopped resisting her desire to die and let her know that I would support her fully to die. I still would support her in that choice if she changes her mind. Of course she knows I would kill her if she changes her mind.
I have resisted until now the fact that I AM worthless in helping people. I accept this truth.
I free myself from 29 years of a raging battle trying to help people, people that fundamentally believed deep down they were worthless, and played victim.
Now I am FREE. What now?
Now, something FANTASTICAL this way comes … In 5 days …