I want this blog to be my personal journey — on FEELING most ALIVE. I’m starting from a place of waking up to how dead I have been. I judge that I should be way more awake and a disbelief, still, of how I could have lived for so long suffering, hurting and oblivious to my own pain. I want this blog to support me to play a role in a grand story — epic, mythic, magnificent!
I really resist claiming my truth of what a hard place that I’ve been in most of my life. I had been telling myself a lot of lies. My biggest lie of all was that I was going to change by walking the same path as I had for decades, even though I had not changed. In accepting my lie and claiming my truth I got it was too hard and painful to continue to lie to myself anymore.
What if the secret to life is to uncover your purpose, FEEL it, and LIVE it? Uncovering one’s purpose is very hard because people make it hard. People resist life. They squirm against life. They try to wiggle out from underneath life. We are indoctrinated (beliefs), programmed (habits), and conditioned (fears), to resist life. But when people FEEL their purpose, they light up. They come alive. They exclaim, “Oh my god, I had no idea!” And they often cry.
We are mistaken. We believe that something is wrong with us. What is more accurate and vastly more helpful is that we resist all that is right within us, who we are — our brilliance, our heart, our magic, our love, our imagination, our Soul, and most importantly our deep yearning desire — a desire stronger than anything else on this planet — to FEEL most ALIVE!
I believe there are two ways to go about engaging in personal change work: one method I call Dredging, survival approach, is to focus attention on wounds, weaknesses and what is wrong. We try to fix things with this approach as if something is wrong. The second method I call Spiriting, a thriving approach, is to focus attention on our dreams, strengths and what is working in our lives. Here we follow our purpose.
Commander Adama asks his son, Lee Adama, “Which side are you on?” Lee questions with obvious irritation, “I didn’t know we were choosing sides.” Commander answers, “That is why you haven’t chosen.” Is something in your life screwy? If so, look to find where you have not chosen a side.
Star Trek blasted onto movie screens and demanded action to a compelling command — Dare to be Better. I left the theatre a little shaken. I did not want to answer the command, because I did not want to think about how I rarely dared myself to be better any more.