Every SOMEDAY-that-has-never-come dissolves, demolishes and destroys my personal POWER! You see, with great excitement, I wanted to announce today that after a decade I finally …… BUT my debilitating and intense back pain of 6 years has seized my thinking to only dwell on how SOMEDAY I will have the financial resources to hire all of the alternative and medical professionals to change my reality of debilitation and pain. Another SOMEDAY-that-has-never-come!
I don’t like how I am when I encounter incompetency – ANGRY. I encounter incompetency almost everywhere. But my angry reactions get in the way of my ease, power and freedom and living my purpose.
One man spoke his truth – Remember, men coming up to the mountain have waited centuries for us, for this opportunity. Tears welled up as I felt the truth spoken. Let me explain.
My dreams gave me another directive – see “The Edge of Tomorrow”. I rarely go out to movies anymore, but my dream compelled me to go. My directive communicated this movie would impart a KEY message on my Odyssey of Stalking My Personal Power. It did just that…
For over a decade I hid my gifts, hid my personal power, hid myself. What gifts? The Paradox Cure™! I have suffered greatly for it…
Several dreams in the past 3 weeks have awoken me, imparting compelling directives to change my life, my reality. I have acted on every directive, including the biggest – “Stalk Your Power!!!” A few nights ago my dreams shouted, “Achieve Escape Velocity!!!” – escape the gravitational pull of a decade of not sharing my gifts, and the massive negative consequences.
I was pretty sure that shit would come up as I stalked my personal power, but I thought I wouldn’t be fazed. WRONG! I just got my nervous system slammed by fear over a series of events in a 10 hour period. This is how I responded…
I have done similar experiments 100’s of times. But the difference with this experiment is that I have installed support structures to change what I want to change.
Every now and then a yoga teacher imparts something that applies to life in a big way. Josh at Core Power Yoga in Encinitas, CA talked about the classical Mysore approach to vinyasa flow where you don’t try to go further in asanas (postures) than you have done in the past. You just do them while being present to what your body needs – not going beyond your body’s limitations.
I just proclaimed to the world wide web that I am stalking my personal power. No “JUST” about it. However, I don’t have many ways of staying on course without outside help. Entropy takes over, so putting my journey out to the public is the best support I have access to. I intend to mark my progress.
At the last stage of my Dark Night of the Soul in the Hero’s Journey, I make my final colossal attempt to cross the threshold of adventure and return to this world with gifts to share from my adventures over the past decade. How do I know I am at this threshold? I am ready to die, as I recently acknowledged I had very little – little hope, little money, little health, little desire, little community. Let me back up.
FANTASTICAL ODYSSEY — The alchemical crucible of my dark night of the soul forged something FANTASTICAL through fear, isolation, abandonment, depression, pain and debilitation, worthlessness, loss, shame & poverty, and spiritual rot.