A Grand Love Story
The Grand Love Story of Dave & Talyaa (Kahuna & Aku)
How Girl & Boy Meet
Girl dreams about soulmate.
Girl still dreams about soulmate, 40 years later.
Girl feels soulmate coming 2 months before November 26th, 2010.
Boy wishes for soulmate.
At 21, Boy asks for a shooting star as a sign that his soulmate exists.
Boy sees shooting star.
Boy lives life and becomes resigned no soulmate exists.
Girl & Boy Meet
Girl & Boy meet November 26th, 2010.
Girl & Boy fall madly in love. Stay madly in love. Never knew such Divine love existed. Realize they found their soulmates.
Girl gets cancer. Boy devastated. In wild warrior frenzy, boy researches how to beat cancer. Boy creates radical health program to save girl.
Boy moves mountains. Slays dragons. Faces demons. Boy saves girl.
Girl & Boy Marry. Commit to Love for Life.
Boy and girl continue to love each other madly.
Cancer tumors come back in girl’s brain. Boy & Girl devastated, but continue loving each other.
Boy & Girl work to beat cancer & HOPE to love each other for another 40+ years.
We married on August 20th, 2013. Though not officially married by law, we committed to each other by heart surrounded by our tantra community in Boulder Creek, CA.
Ways We Cultivate Passionate Relationship
A LOVE NOTE on 4 YEAR ANNIVERSARY to my beloved Talyaa Liera
Four years ago today I first met you, first gazed upon you, hugged you. That day I received YOU as the greatest gift of my life, other than life itself.
My beloved – you inspire me to be a better man, a better person. You captivate me with your sublime sense of beauty, creation of beauty through your art and writing, and your inner and outer beauty. You deeply move me as you share your experience of life, your emotional and spiritual processes, and what it is like to be alive in your body. I love life more because of you.
Every day I gently wake you up – other than kitty, you are the first face I get to see every day, and the last face before sleep. Your face melts me, and I feel so nourished by this fact – and treasure it.
When I think of you, and I do think of you ALL the time, my heart opens and I often ask my self how can I love you more. Your being just calls out to me to love. AND so often gazing upon you arouses my desire to make love with you – you so do it for me with your complete inner and outer beauty.
I gave up on “soulmates” until YOU flashed into my life. Walking hand in hand in life with you is beyond what I ever hoped for in love, companionship, relationship, partnership. You are my best friend EVER.
I yearn to love you for the rest of my life. Your cancer condition has jolted me to savor hourly the enormous gift you are. And as you know, I chose to devote my life to you, to us, to loving each other for the rest of my life.
Talyaa T. Liera – unreservedly, I am committed to growing my love for you in all its forms for all my life, and holding space for you to radiate your essence in all its magnificence!
I love you beyond doubt, beyond reason, beyond beyond…
another 40 years+… your husband, lover, companion, beloved, best friend, soulmate, wild warrior wizard, Kahuna.
It takes work, vigilance, courage, some skill sets, great love, massive desire to stay connected, and heart to cultivate our passionate relationship. It is not easy, but we do it because we both believe one of our main purposes for being on the planet is to love and be loved.
We feed and water our relationship in many ways. Rituals are important, and so have created many rituals of love, romance, acknowledgement, gratitude, companionship and US.
Some rituals were born out of love, some out of supporting the other to change and others out of the magic in the moment.
I share these rituals with hope that our rituals inspire people to give each other this amazing gift of frequent acknowledgement, nurturing their love for each other, and stoking the fire in their relationship. I would love to hear what rituals you create.
— Acts of love, Messages of love, Tantric healings, Check-ins on how WE are doing, Date nights, Naps, Meals, Adventurous outings, Eat out, Walk & talks, Foot massages, Kitty pet time together, Movie nights
Some of Our Specific Love Rituals
We start off the day with me softly walking into her bedroom then saying, “Good morning. Good morning my love. I love you. Time to wake up. Time to wake up.”
Then I sit on her bed, hold her hand, look into her eyes, say “HI!” and ask her how she slept. Often I caress her hand, and sometimes her head.
As Akua eats her breakfast and I drink tea or coffee, I play music on Pandora as we sit in our chairs with one of her legs on my lap. Our kitty joins us. I caress Akua or kitty and we share our highlights from the day before.
We talk of the ways we nurtured our connection, and felt good about each other the day before. And we acknowledge each other for what we appreciate. We share what is coming up for our day together, and how we can connect that day.
One of my favorite rituals is after I am done showering. This started off as my suggestion to support me in remembering to close the shower curtain. I often forgot. Now when I draw the shower curtain closed, Akua yells from downstairs or her bedroom, “I LOVE YOU!“
I always want it, even when I am angry or feel distance with Akua. I want to know she loves me. If I don’t hear her words, I open the door. Now she knows I may not have heard, so she yells it again. Sometimes I just open and close the shower curtain to have her enthusiastically yell “I Love You!“
We go for a walk around our neighborhood almost every day, holding hands. On that walk we stop under a special Japanese maple leaf tree with a beautiful 4′ high rock wall with a lot of moss, ferns above – a garden where we imagine sprites and fairies come out to play. And we KISS.
We always KISS. No matter if we are in a state of conflict. We both know we can rely on kisses under that tree! And I have followed through making sure Akua knows that she could rely on getting kisses, on me showing my desire for her even when conflict surrounds our hearts. I think she has asked to do some walks just to feel those kisses and my desire.
Whenever Akua and I find ourselves on a stairs landing, which we happen to have in our house, we kiss. Often she will wait for me on the landing if she knows I am coming up or going down the stairs. I wait too.
Kissing Akua is such a sexy and beautiful way to remind her and me of our attraction and desire. Making out is underrated!
Imagine experiencing deep blissful passion, communication, pleasure, healing, growth and transformation with another through physical and emotional intimacy.
I train individuals and couples how to Grow Big Love. This Big Love fuels a sustained experience and feeling of “being in love”, or what most people refer to “the spark” that people first feel in the beginning of their relationship.
YES, it is possible to feel great romance and being in love for your entire relationship — decades long!
Call me to Grow Big Love in YOUR relationship!
Dear Human: You’ve got it allllll wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of messing up. Often.
You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering.
But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s Plenty.
Courtney A. Walsh
We took our first trip about 7 weeks after we met to La Push, on the coast of WA – werewolf territory. However, for the record we are Team Edward, as vampires rule. On this trip we came to understand that something magical had been working with us.
We realized our lives, loves and experiences had intertwined in so many ways that we started a record. At the time we called these intertwinings – soulmate indicators. Now we call them Whispers, Signs & Omens, because it sounds more mystical. Appropriate that it is more mystical for this list gives evidence that we are soulmates, sometimes freakish evidence. And like we really need the evidence at this point.
Why acknowledge whispers, signs or omens?
You should know that for the first few months after I met Talyaa, I did not know she was my soulmate, even though she knew within 2-3 weeks of meeting me. However, as I acknowledged our freakish similarities, I quickly appreciated how amazing our relationship was and its potential. In acknowledging the potential of our relationship, I put more hope for our future and more work into nurturing us.
My hope is that all of you perhaps put a little more attention on any cosmic coincidence, sizable synergy or luminous alikeness between you and a potential significant other. If you do, I suspect you will engage the relationship with greater intimacy, trust and vulnerability.
Kahuna (Dave Donatiu) & Akua (Talyaa Liera) at Volunteer Park Conservatory in Seattle
101 Soulmate Indicators
NOTE: Items in bold are what we think are most magical…
- In our 20’s we loved to grocery shop late at night – 2 am
- We often pace while on the phone
- We prefer slices at the ends of bread loaves
- We despise beer
- We covet silver airstream trailers
- We love round river-ish stone on houses, as in chimneys and want them for our house
- We decided to move to Pacific Northwest at same time – summer 2007
- We seldom lose or misplace things
- We do not run out of underwear as we have a 3-4 week supply — we think it is silly to be forced to do laundry just because we don’t have enough underwear
- Glass-topped tables suck!
- Our favorite season is autumn
- We both have black panthers as power animals
- We have a 99 match % on OK Cupid
- We have journaled most of our lives
- Cats rule, dogs drool — yes we are cat lovers
- Our skin is highly sensitive to air — no sleeping naked; too distracting
- Ice cream = meh, not really a big deal
- We follow the cult of Mac
- We know that baked potatoes taste better when baked 2 hours or more
- We think binder clips are sexy
- We love words but hate Scrabble
- We choose textiles by feel — softness
- Ray Bradbury — Butterfly Effect story rocks
- Pork. Ick. Gross. Yuck.
- We adore turrets in houses
- Just. Fucking. Park.
- We are not germophobes
- Received cutting boards as gifts from our fathers
- We go for prime numbers wherever we can
- We like mushroom stems
- We don’t cotton to Steve McQueen
- We both have aesthetics in cooking — fanning pears for presentation, or lining up the crackers
- We have a similar movie-watching experience/technique — look for the inconsistencies and notice oddities — for example, tracked a particular XB in action while watching a movie; waiting for it to come around a car but it did not
- We know that film makers make streets wet when filming, and enjoy mentioning it
- We have longed to live in a world of magic
- Enjoy natural incense
- Often make lists and track things
- Hold a strong awareness of food safety where anything that raw meat touches is washed
- Smelled our new Macbook Pros
- We both engage in strong foot play during sex
- We adore mourning doves and whipoorwills
- We don’t like Buddhists that eschew desire
- Often pause movies while watching
- Love Tawny Port
- Enraptured with sunset afterglow colors
- We both had a Rohnert Park P.O. box
- Almost did not graduate from high school despite having been stellar students up to that point
- Skipped a grade
- Taco Bell as go-to comfort fast food if necessary — 7 layer burrito (not any more)
- What’s up with antiques?
- Water — no ice — in restaurants
- There is a “right” and “wrong” color red
- Sally Fallon rocks
- At the Picasso exhibit we opted out of the audio tour unlike 98% of the herd, and we were the only ones who approached the paintings as close as we could get while walking in front of others to do so
- Healed from fibromyalgia
- We had Sandra Ingerman facilitate a shamanic workshop in our lives
- We worship witty word wrangling while wetting whistles with wild woops
- Wash new clothes before wearing
- We would sleep in treehouses if we could
- We are particular about having someone’s hand between us and a cushion
- Fear of permanent disfigurement due to a person resting an arm on our body for a seeming eternity
- Burning Man — would go if we had an RV
- Similar passwords — Like, REALLY similar
- We have a way of dealing with customer service reps — snarky
- IHOP Blueberry syrup. Need we say more?
- Cold sauce and hot pasta = temperature perfection and saves an unnecessary step
- We notice number patterns
- Things are better in odd numbers
- Similar discriminating taste in wines
- Flowers are sexy
- Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnnnt… We have been singing this for decades
- Yellow gummi bears have no place in this universe
- Conversational tangents — we return to the core after exploring them, vs. never returning to the original thread
- European counting on fingers — we start with the thumb as number one
- Our writing is a combo of printing and cursive
- Dead baby jokes are cool
- We lived in Boulder at same time, without knowing each other
- We believe we have used our woo-woo powers to influence slot machines
- Pico de gallo is our favorite salsa
- Cruise control — use to the exclusion of foot pedals
- Kimchi is a wonderful snack
- Potato chip factory visit as children and remember taking a hot chip off the conveyer belt and eating it
- Sleeping with lights on earlier in life
- Use the phrase, “My boyfriend/gf rocks”
- Enjoy merging with others with our work, and work best in merging vs. defining our separateness — think psychotherapy vs. marketing
- Our favorite Christmas holiday song is Carol of the Bells
- Our second favorite holiday song is We Three Kings
- We used to love running through forests with trees whizzing by
- Adore scooters
- Do not use contractions frequently
- Pepe le Pew is our favorite cartoon character, but we have great sadness over his unrequited love
- We’ve slept with white noise for years
- We possess an innate curiosity to understand WHY, and often follow through to learn why through Google, and in early years through asking, consulting encyclopedias and books
- Crossing streets often reminds us of the video-game Frogger
- We agree, Pilot P-700 fine tip pens rock – there is no substitute
- Paprika on popcorn works
- We don’t like slapstick comedy
- We have had restless legs
- A treasure is to sit outside during thunderstorms and rainstorms – want to be a part of it
- Monday is the first day of the week – isn’t something wrong with those Sunday-is-the-first-day-of-the-week people?
- We both know how pyrex so trumps plastic
Another 101 Indicators
NOTE: Items in bold are what we think are most magical…
- We love landscaping and gardening with the same eye of what is beautiful
- We hold mutual knowledge that thoughtful landscaping invites wood spirits
- We rarely drink hard liquor, though when we have, well before we met each other, we most often chose vodka tonic with lime
- Enjoy flower shops
- Knowing what we wanted to do with our life when we were 17 – our general life purpose
- Believe in fairies
- Sleep at both the head and foot of bed
- Trellises and gazebos hold magic, and we want them
- We so know how radical honesty does not work
- Use phrase “choice point”
- Learned to play piano in our lives to specifically to play certain songs
- Willing to leave friends and family behind (BUT NOT SOULMATES) in order to time travel to another planet, place in time if that fanciful possibility ever comes up
- Choose words carefully, mindful of the impact they make. i.e. bathroom vs washroom, trash vs garbage, sofa vs couch
- Good at cutting-in when painting rooms – we do not wast time using tape
- Turned on by vacuuming
- We both left giblets in the turkey, only ONCE
- We like to trace patterns on things with our fingertips
- We enjoy feeling textures
- At the same time we explored working on a cruise ship in early 2010
- Trouble understanding and remembering song lyrics
- We usually cook enough for leftovers, on purpose
- Kimchi — yay!
- Eggplant — yuck
- Marmalades suck
- Hate metronomes
- “Oh, the places we will go” – we were inspired by this book
- We have a lifelong interest with looking at maps
- We have looked for four leaf clovers
- 20 minute naps rock
- Volcanic red raku rocks
- Our fathers were into liqueurs
- Black cherry ice cream was our favorite at Baskin-Robbins, orange sherbet second
- We loved our A & W floats
- We had blankies as kids
- We can simultaneously crack 2 eggs – one in each hand
- We share a dislike of sponge brushes for painting
- Use to grocery shop late at night – after 2 am
- We admire the art of Georgia O’keeffe and Salvador Dali
- Akua bought the exact yellow leather chair that Kahuna wanted, but more amazing is that Akua stopped sitting in this chair in October 2010, which is the same time returned from a road trip when she first felt my existence and our inevitable union
- In school when very young, each cheated on a test just one time and never did that again
- Have each driven stick shift cars with broken bones in left (knee and foot)
- Like toast browned the same level of brown
- Mothers claimed they preferred burnt toast
- We adore porch swings
- Always curious about identifying sources of sounds and good at it – if we don’t know what a sound is, we try hard to figure it out
- Slot machine handles – there is no substitute, and we use them, not the buttons
- Hand to fingertip measurement is the same
- Fathers watched WWII movies and westerns on Sunday afternoons
- Our belongings and furnishings fit together – color, compliment of stuff – she furniture, me wall art
- We don’t like others reading to us, except each other
- Love people watching
- Had a stuffed animal named tigger
- Our first boyfriend/girlfriend had the last name of Jackson
- Love road trips
- We put playing cards on the spokes of our bikes when young
- We each had a Schwinn Continental bike
- Phrase “chill pill” raises our hackles
- We have a fantasy of making love on a sheepskin rug in front of a fireplace
- Buttered popcorn jelly bellies are gross
- Black licorice is evil
- We insist on the corners of brownies, they are the best
- Made recordings of pretend scary sounds
- We got our first stereos at age 12
- When someone says, “that’s the way”, we break in and say, “uh huh, uh huh, I like it, uh huh, uh huh“
- Select tandoori chicken at food bar by small pieces and sauce vs big pieces
- We use this phrase, ‘big honkin’
- As a child, we selected valentines cards for our classmates based on energy of recipient
- Synesthesia – we have it, look it up
- When we are sick we want to rest watching magical movies
- We would love to have an orchard
- Crackerjacks are all about the surprise, not the crackerjacks
- We are ok with our lettuce being warmed up by hot foods, like chicken
- As youngsters, we hung around older people
- Love spanokopita
- We think, “little knives in the kitchen – why bother?“
- Spent time looking for a publicity stunt, or something viral but meaningful, such as Julie and Julia
- We have always wanted to explore Hawaiian shamanism more but haven’t yet
- Love Carmine Burana
- Letting subconscious work on an issue
- Jupiter is our favorite Holst The Planets symphony
- Can feel people’s thoughts as pressure
- Emergency tv
- Hatred of rubik’s cubes
- We love the music of Hildegard Von Bingen
- Been to Bodega Bay and find it fascinating as the movie location for The Birds
- We have overdosed on gummy vitamins
- We don’t resonate with Bear energy
- We both healed our previously abused cats through asking permission into their space gentleness
- When we find broken crackers, we prefer to clear up the chaos by eating the broken crackers first
- We are lame about wrapping presents – read, we don’t wrap presents
- Romantic fantasy – horse carriage in central park
- We eat leftover potatoes cold
- Used to read and enjoy Aesop’s fables
- We note time and date of auspicious occurrences
- As a child, fascinated by dust particles drifting in the air
- Strong desire to drive as a child
- Helpless when it comes to willpower and candy, well, nearly helpless
- Want to order a lavish spread from room service
- Butterfingers grossest Halloween candy
- Thought about import business as a way to travel
- Learned O Tannenbaum and Silent Night in German in grade school
Yet Another 101
NOTE: Items in bold are what we think are most magical…
- Deep hatred of snuggies for it represents the worst of america
- Find it inconceivable that there are people who do not take the time to put the corners of pillows into the corners of pillow cases
- We just do not get pine tree car fresheners – chemical smells infused into cardboard pine tree cutouts???
- Deep love for blank leather journals
- Grilled cheese sandwiches sound better than they are
- Yearn to be in a Lighthouse in a raging storm
- We like turkey skin
- Cuts apples the same way (1/4 cut at angle)
- We owned Peter Gabriel’s album – Passion, which inspires us to write, reflect and dream
- Loathe our toes being pulled
- Akua has been to Punxsutawney and Kahuna has been to Woodstock, Illinois, both ties to the movie groundhog day ???Counterpoint.
- We don’t like ‘ish’, especially with time
- We are very scared of the pop up jack in the box
- We think our own feet are above average in attractiveness
- Each had 6 medical procedures in our pelvic/ abdomen area
- We deliberately open iPhone apps to get rid of those pesky notification numbers
- We have always wanted a very fun painted car
- Both visited half moon bay, a magical place to us
- Love the sound of church bells in the distance
- When it is cold outside and our ears get cold, our head hurts
- We were both on national tv in high school
- OMG – pushing finger in sand is an excruciating crunching in the brain sound
- We still love saying to people, “see you next year” around New Year’s Eve
- Lived near paper factory
- Both went to the El Conquistador hotel in Puerto Rico
- Visited phosphorescent bay and El Yunque in Puerto Rico
- Baskin Robbins black cherry ice cream, orange sherbet
- Both love a little town in CA, Jamestown
- We both still have our wisdom teeth
- Our favorite bagels – everything or onion
- Love moss and ferns
- Favorite elementary school learning tool was films about inside human body
- Love old maps, atlases
- Rooting for specific raindrops on car windows to join with others and race down the window
- We feel delight in sound of dirt particles going up thru vacuum cleaner tube – kitty litter rocks
- As children stirred ice cream to make soup
- Astrological houses are the same sign
- In the third week of August 2010, we point to this week as a deliberate start of coming together at the same time. Kahuna started working for money to move to Seattle, while Akua visited an Ecuadorean shaman and attended a 5 rhythms weekend.
- Couldn’t wait to drive when we were little
- Hate riding jet skis
- Hate fruitcake with a passion
- Fantasies about the koolaid guy appearing
WE WILL ADD MORE, when we get more time… busy loving each other