People frequently say, “I don’t know how you do it?” – referring to how I deal with terminal cancer, pain (intense health protocols) and the constant threat of death. I didn’t know how to answer until last Thursday after a co-facilitated (wife and me) Paradox Cure process of exploring how I deal with it.
Robin Williams gave me laughter to get through hardship and challenges of life, and hope and inspiration to become a better person. But when he took his own life, he abruptly ripped my spiritual and emotional cords to the idea and archetype of being larger than life and endeavor to be more.
2 years ago I sat on my bed at home at 3 in the morning, feeling the worst I ever felt in my life, crying over the real probability that my soulmate and life partner would die from Stage 4c (terminal) cancer in a matter of weeks.
I felt a flood of emotions, accompanied by a surge of spine-tingling energy, trembling, heat, and deep heartfulness as I stood among legendary airplanes and space craft in American history. Only about 2 dozen other times in my life have I felt this distinct sensation, and that was around ghosts and unseen entities. I shuddered. I teared. I breathed deeper. I fought to not outright cry, as I thought I would lose it right there in San Diego’s Air & Space Museum.
Every SOMEDAY-that-has-never-come dissolves, demolishes and destroys my personal POWER! You see, with great excitement, I wanted to announce today that after a decade I finally …… BUT my debilitating and intense back pain of 6 years has seized my thinking to only dwell on how SOMEDAY I will have the financial resources to hire all of the alternative and medical professionals to change my reality of debilitation and pain. Another SOMEDAY-that-has-never-come!
I don’t like how I am when I encounter incompetency – ANGRY. I encounter incompetency almost everywhere. But my angry reactions get in the way of my ease, power and freedom and living my purpose.
One man spoke his truth – Remember, men coming up to the mountain have waited centuries for us, for this opportunity. Tears welled up as I felt the truth spoken. Let me explain.
My dreams gave me another directive – see “The Edge of Tomorrow”. I rarely go out to movies anymore, but my dream compelled me to go. My directive communicated this movie would impart a KEY message on my Odyssey of Stalking My Personal Power. It did just that…
For over a decade I hid my gifts, hid my personal power, hid myself. What gifts? The Paradox Cure™! I have suffered greatly for it…
Several dreams in the past 3 weeks have awoken me, imparting compelling directives to change my life, my reality. I have acted on every directive, including the biggest – “Stalk Your Power!!!” A few nights ago my dreams shouted, “Achieve Escape Velocity!!!” – escape the gravitational pull of a decade of not sharing my gifts, and the massive negative consequences.
I was pretty sure that shit would come up as I stalked my personal power, but I thought I wouldn’t be fazed. WRONG! I just got my nervous system slammed by fear over a series of events in a 10 hour period. This is how I responded…
I have done similar experiments 100’s of times. But the difference with this experiment is that I have installed support structures to change what I want to change.