Change is a bitch. My soulmate life partner has stage 4 cancer, and to reverse the runaway growth of cancer (weed the garden), I have fiercely uprooted my life with radical changes. I am miserable. I ache, I’m tired, foggy, depressed, low energy, uncomfortable and believe I have little to look forward to — except to perhaps really live. That seems too far away.
I am tired. Tired is a code word for anger. And I am angry — that I have to radically change my life on a forced timeline. My soulmate life partner’s cancer has made changes a MUST. Necessary. Life-and-death-consequences necessary. I protest. I resist. Why?
On Tuesday, August 7th, in a small sterile examination room looking onto I-5, an aloof melanoma medical expert told my soulmate life partner that medical science could not cure her cancer, and that she had less than 6 months left to live. I don’t buy the doctor’s world of beliefs. Her ignorance and callousness disgusted me, but also gave me massive resolve to take a stand to do what she said we could not — LIVE.
Last night at my men’s group we went around and shared our biggest fear and joy of the week. I shared my freak-out over possibly losing Talyaa to her just diagnosed stage 4 metastasized melanoma. Then with great heart I shared my joy from all the outpouring of support we have received. OMG! I did not expect community and support to show up anything close to what we have received!
On saturday, July 28th, 2 doctors in the ER told my soulmate life partner (Talyaa Tamsen Liera – aka Akua) she has metastasized melanoma cancer – stage 4. WTF! This is my journey to give Talyaa ALL of me without reservation.